"How to Coup Your Country Without Anyone Noticing"
A Beginner’s Guide for Elected Dictators, Wannabe Strongmen, and Other Democracy-Hating Hacks
After the Constitutional Convention, a woman named Elizabeth Willing Powel is said to have asked Benjamin Franklin, "Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?" Franklin's reply, "A republic, if you can keep it."
Ah, democracy. That delicate, wobbly institution that takes centuries to build—and just a couple of fake “lawful” executive orders to bulldoze. If you’re a populist with fascist fantasies and a solid base of people who think facts are liberal conspiracies, congratulations! You, too, can turn your once-proud republic into a banana republic with a Bible in one hand and the Constitution fresh from the paper shredder in the other.
Welcome to Authoritarianism/Dictatorship for Dummies: American Edition.
I say a dictatorship, some say autocracy. While often used interchangeably, autocracy is a broader term encompassing any form of government where one person or a small group holds absolute power, while dictatorship specifically refers to a form of autocratic rule where power is held by a single individual, often through force or coercion. You choose.
Let’s walk through the ten easy steps to slowly choke a democracy to death—while still claiming to be its savior. (No country in particular, kind of)
Dismantle Norms and Call It Patriotism
Start with a little light gaslighting.
Call the establish media fake.
Call elections rigged.
Call courts biased.
Then say your opponents are “radical Marxists” for suggesting we follow the Constitution.
Patriotism is dead—long live your version of it, which somehow always benefits… only you.
2. Media? Make sure that you call them the "Enemy of the People"
If the press criticizes you, scream “witch hunt.”
If they ask questions, call them rude, nasty, disgusting, horrible people.
If they uncover your corruption, sue them. Replace actual journalism with 24/7 sycophantic propaganda channels run by trust fund babies and fired YouTubers.
Turn the Badge Into a Bludgeon
Weaponize federal agents like they're your personal SS. Call out “anarchists” and “looters” when people protest, then send in jackbooted thugs with no name tags. Paint it all as “law and order,” but only enforce it on the opposition.
4. Make the Law Your Lapdog
Ignore subpoenas. Declare emergency powers because your feelings got hurt on Twitter. Let loyalist judges rubber-stamp your revenge campaigns while pretending you're protecting freedom—by outlawing it.
5. Elections: Rig Them and Call It Reform
Gerrymander districts like you're playing Tetris with democracy. Purge voter rolls, close polling places, and invent reasons to block mail-in ballots unless they’re cast by your cousin in a red state retirement village.
6. Opponents Are Enemies now, Not Honorable Opponents
Never say “liberal” without adding “lunatic.” Crush kindness but call it “wokeness.” Suggest that your rivals are pedophiles or communists, then act surprised when your base shows up with zip ties and bear spray.
7. Fire the Experts. Hire just your Fanboys, especially the ones who praise your malevolence.
Why rely on people with degrees, data and decades of experience when you can appoint a podcaster who once got kicked off Facebook for calling vaccines "Satan's Kool-Aid"? Purge every agency until it’s full of yes-men who'd baptize your ego if you asked.
8. Pack the Courts Like a Tyrant’s Lunchbox
Fast-track judges who think women and their bodies are government property and corporations are people with feelings. Stack the Supreme Court until it’s less "balanced jurisprudence" and more dictatorship cosplay with a gavel."
9. Crush Civil Society While Posing for Flag Photos
Ban books.
Ban drag queens.
Ban TikTok until it bows to your propaganda wants.
But call it “protecting the children” while stripping them of actual protections like healthcare, gun safety, and non-toxic school lunches. Throw activists in jail and call them "insurrectionists." Throw your insurrectionists a rally and call them heroes.
10. Build a Personality Cult Bigger Than Your IQ
Flood every billboard and news program with your face. Sell gold painted garbage and other pigs in pokes to you sycophants for thousands of percentage points more than they’re worth. Speak in third person. Hold rallies where you compare yourself to Lincoln, Jesus, and occasionally Batman. And if anyone dares criticize you? Accuse them of treason and secretly wish your followers would "take care of them."
Final Thought:
Dictatorship doesn’t land with a bang. It slides in quietly, wearing a flag pin and waving a Bible albeit upside down. It tells you it's here to protect you—just before it puts its boot on your neck and asks why you're not being patriotic about it.
So if your country starts following this playbook, don’t ask when the coup will happen.
It already has.
Happy Sabbath Day, Ciao4Now, CR
Sources & References:
Levitsky & Ziblatt, How Democracies Die
Freedom House Reports (2023–2025)
ACLU Voting Rights Reports
Brennan Center for Justice – Election Law Analysis
Human Rights Watch, "Weaponization of Law in Authoritarian Regimes"
MSNBC, CNN, The New York Times, Washington Post – on the politicization of DOJ, DHS, and judicial appointments
Reports on gerrymandering and SCOTUS decisions by SCOTUSblog
Congressional testimony regarding January 6 and law enforcement use against civilians
Southern Poverty Law Center – analysis of far-right militia activity